The First Step To Trail Running You Can’t Skip
As I stood alone in the vastness of Sedona's red rock landscape, the early morning sun casting long shadows over the trail, I could feel the pull of something beyond the physical. It’s why I was there.
Sure, the trails within moments of town weave through instantly gorgeous landscapes with backdrops even AI can’t create no matter how much prompt finessing you attempt.
But the stunning landscape was not why I was there. I was there to dig deeper. Get to the root of why I was holding myself back.
This was more than just a retreat. (A retreat with a start time of 9 am, which meant plenty of time for morning trail run exploration and “integration.”)
Only, I didn’t know what I actually needed to uncover.
Impulsive Commitments
Months earlier, I had impulsively signed up for this retreat. It was a decision born from a deep-seated yearning for change, a desire to shake off the accumulated expectations of daily life and rediscover my core. With no clear expectations but an open heart, I was here to find clarity amid the serene and wild beauty of the trails.
At the same time, I also impulsively joined the waitlist for the Black Canyon 100k (with a laugh and an eye roll). Perhaps the fact that I wasn’t really committing to the race was helpful. Perhaps I could train for it, but then if it didn’t work, then I would have an easy out.
I didn’t trust myself.
I didn’t think training for an ultramarathon of this magnitude was possible in my life right now.
Two young kids, various freelance work projects, a commitment to spend more time with family, financial constraints….so many reasons that pointed to why I COULDN’T train for a 100k ultramarathon.
The First Step To Committing To A Trail Race - An Ultramarathon
Trail running, and signing up for various races from 5Ks to half-marathons to my first 50k, wasn’t ever merely about the physical endurance it demanded. The trails open up pathways to engage more deeply with myself and enter into a playful exploration of personal limits.
During my retreat, in between breathwork sessions, ancestral meditations, vortex scouting (I mean, we’re talking Sedona here), and super tasty food - I kept turning back to the trails.
Trail running each morning unlocked something.
I realized that the only person who needed to “approve” of my lofty dreams of running a 100k ultramaration, like the Black Canyon 100k - was me. The only person who thought I “shouldn’t” do it - was me. The only person who believed I didn’t have the time, or money, or fitness, or resources - was me.
So I granted myself permission to do it.
“The only person who thought I “shouldn’t” do it, was me.”
Why I Give Myself Permission To Be An Ultrarunner
It sounds too simple. So simple, I overlooked it in the past. But this time, it worked. Choosing to train for the Black Canyon 100k was a leap into the unknown; my own personal Ahtohallan (Frozen mom joke - and not the last). Despite recent job uncertainties and the pragmatic voice in my head questioning every decision, I recognized this as a pivotal moment.
Ultrarunning represented more than just physical endurance; it symbolized a commitment to living fully and embracing challenges that push beyond comfort zones.
Sort of like Elsa in Frozen, I was letting go of the past and running into the future—just with less singing and more sweating (ok, maybe a little singing).
The Power of Permission
Granting yourself permission to chase daunting goals is transformative. It's about silencing the internal critic that deems such aspirations excessive or selfish and embracing the empowerment that comes with pursuing what truly matters to you.
Each training run was a reaffirmation of my worth and a step towards greater self-acceptance.
And the exciting news? I got in.
Just 2 weeks before the start of the race, I received the exciting, albeit slightly nauseating, email that I could officially register for the Black Canyon 100k.
The world made it even easier (probably because I finally permitted myself) by connecting me with Steph who would not only be running the 100k herself (for her 5th time no less) but would be hosting a group of rad people whom I could join.
Sometimes when we give ourselves permission to do the hard thing - like heading out for a daunting trail run or signing up for an all women’s trail marathon - the world opens up and the support to make it happen suddenly appears.
"Granting Myself the Miles" isn't just a statement about running; it's about the broader journey of life and the personal growth that comes from stepping into the unknown with courage. It's a narrative I hope will inspire other women to explore their own trail running and ultrarunning paths or any other ventures they dream of pursuing.
What challenges are you contemplating, and what's holding you back? Send us an email at mtadamsrunner@gmail.com. We want to uplift your journey and hear your story.
Remember, the journey of training for your first trail run race doesn’t begin with a single step—it begins with granting yourself permission to take it.